I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
