um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
