Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
