I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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