her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
