god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
