that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
last night I used snow as a chaser
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
