oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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