There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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