Its about making memories worth repressing
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
