I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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