Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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