The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
