So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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