they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
