Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
