I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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