You're my little dorito
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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