We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
