Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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