U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
