____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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