im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
