Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize