fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize