I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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