it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
