Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
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watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
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The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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