We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
