end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize