wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
