yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
