Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
He passed out mid-signature
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
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