Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
