I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I just found puke in my bra..
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
