She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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