I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize