i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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