I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You ruined the universe
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize