What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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