The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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