She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
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You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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