My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
