he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
that may or may not have been my penis.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
