I wish I only lived at night.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
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