But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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