honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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