Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
