a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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