you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
