On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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