there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
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He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
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his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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