Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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