Kiss
Puke
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
A bitchslap is in order.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
