come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
