He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
