hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize