: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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