Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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